Sometimes when going through a rough patch in life, I feel like no one else is going through the same struggle or even struggling in life. But I am wrong. I had a friend once say that she loved watching others struggle. Not because she found joy in other's pain, but because it meant that she wasn't alone. Other's had gone through the same thing that she was going through. I find comfort in realizing that others are experiencing the same thing I am, whether it's a child not sleeping through the night or struggling to know you're doing the best job as a wife and mother.
I have this great friend who wrote a blog post about this. And I don't think I could say it any better. (Read the Full Post Here)
"When someone is diagnosed with cancer, that challenge has a label. It's google-able and people have heard about it before. They may not understand what it's like to go through that trial, but it's something they've heard of before. When someone has cancer, you can post about that on Facebook and ask for help - and thank goodness for that! I'm grateful for the lives that have been blessed and the prayers that have been answered because we know how to ask for help when someone has cancer.
"But that's the thing. Sometimes we have trials that aren't google-able. Sometimes there is no easy label for why life is hard. Or maybe it's something private that you don't actually want to talk about. I know some brave people who talk about their challenges with infertility. I think people who share their struggles with cancer are incredibly brave too. I also have learned that sometimes there are brave people fighting silent battles that they don't understand, can't label, or aren't really prepared to open up about. Sometimes there are battles that are so innately internal that you really can't tell people about them. And the more time I've spent thinking about this "silent battles" concept, the more I come to realize that a LOT of us are going through these times in life and maybe we don't know what to do."
Whether or not we can google our struggles or maybe they are too personal to share with the world, at some point or another, we all will have silent battles. But I'm learning that we aren't alone. Life is hard, and life is hard at some point or another for everyone. It makes me think of the saying "Don't judge a book by it's cover" We can't judge whether or not someone has trials in their life just by looking at them. As I've come to be more open about what I'm struggling with, I've found friends who have experienced the same sorrow, grief and pain I have felt. Or friends who our battles may not be the same, but as we talk together we are able to help each other with what lies ahead.
As I went through one of the toughest struggles in my life I asked the questions, "Why Me? Why now? Why This?" How many times do we turn and ask these questions when life gets tough?
In this video, Elder David A Bednar states that sometimes we mistake happiness has the absence of a load. But the loads and burdens we bare are necessary and part of the plan of happiness.
When I look back on my life and the times where I felt the most sorrow, pain, grief or really struggled, I look at the outcome and how much I grew. Elise follows up her post about Silent Battles with a beautiful post about finding joy in the journey and seeing our trials from a new perspective. (Read it here) When talking to Husband about this time in my life, he had me think about how this struggle could prepare me for something in the future. What could I learn from it? How was it strengthening me? As I have tried to focus on seeing my battle from a different perspective and seeing the blessings from it, I can see myself growing. I have seen my heart be opened towards others, able to share by burden with others so I can be uplifted and comforted. Opening my heart to help others through their struggles, whether they be the same or different from what I had gone through. I have tried to focus more on showing my love and appreciation for others. Instead of assuming people knew that they had helped, comforted, or uplifted me; I took the time to really let them know. The most amazing thing happened from this, I felt joy and peace amid the load.
In a time where the world would tell me to look inwards, focus on myself and shut others out; as I turned my thoughts to love and towards others, I was healing, feeling peace and joy. I was overcoming the burden that was placed in my life. While this struggle is something I would never wish upon myself or anyone else, I know that it will help shape me into the person I am becoming and who I will be. It will be apart of me. Others who have gone through this have helped me, and I hope that I in return will be able to help others.
This experience has also greatly strengthened my testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I know that I am never alone, and I know that you are never alone. No matter what we are going through in life, the highs and the lows, Jesus Christ knows exactly how we are feeling. Whenever we feel completely alone and that no one understands, we need to remember that He truly does understand. If we open our hearts to Him, we can feel His love and warm embrace.
As I think about the battles that my friends are currently facing: infertility, loss of spouse, doubt, depression, anxiety, body issues; my heart reaches out to them. I want them to know that they are never alone. Life is hard, but it's okay to ask for help. Help from friends, family and most importantly, from our Savior, Jesus Christ. Life is hard, but it gets better. I have a quote in my bathroom that reads "When it rains, look for rainbows. When it's dark, look for stars." I'm grateful for new perspectives and the chance to learn and grow through life. I am so grateful for the family and friends that uplift and inspire. May we all be uplifting to one another as we travel through this life.
